Speed up!

I should get going NOW to be able to see the Mermaid Parade! Still I'm sitting here, thinking. For some reason I started listening to Lars Winnerback. I haven't listened to that for years. Found that song "Idiot" that is just so.... right. For some reason that song just makes me think about myself and my life.

What people should think about when they do everything possible to succeed with a dream, it might not be enough. Because it doesn't matter how much you succeed with your dream & do success if you are all by yourself. No one is there to share what you accomplish and it just sucks.

I hate this weather. It's just so gray and dead, it makes me depressed. I'm in a good mood though. Meeting Tina for dinner hopefully. We talked about weird stuff on the phone like "vaxtvark"... Anyway, just wish things were different. Realistic it is to keep my head straight. Shouldn't hold on to something that's not right and never was right, just move on. Move on is the hardest thing ever though when there is still no closure. How much I wanted this to work, it was never going to work. I have to make my head to understand that.

Mermaid Parade it is! GO!