Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Me & Mush.

So it's me & Mush this coming weekend, for sure. I'm getting the keys tomorrow. Me & a dog, that's the reality of this holiday. Oh well, life could be worse. Kirsten is super happy that I'm taking care of the dog. I mean, I don't have anything spectacular planned anyway, so it doesn't matter.

When it's a holiday, I wish that time was turned back. It's not a possibility though so it's me & Mush, a half-sleeping 9 year old gigantic Malamute. So I can be found walking around Prospect Park in Brooklyn with this half-sleeping dog. She likes to sit a a lot so I said to Kirsten that I might simply do it "Mush style" of hanging and just sit around with the dog and talk to her, haha.

Getting to know the stories from DEEP under...

I know, I'm against gossiping but I was just casually talking with my co-worker today. We're getting really great friends now! She even looked at me today before we left and made a face that said it all: "Here we go again..... Changes and CONFUSION!" These people can seriously NEVER make up their mind.

Anyway, I got to know some really juicy stories about a certain someone and oh my. Let's just say that some people NEVER grow up no matter what age they are. This explains the confusion with this place, oh yes. America America and their culture.... I say no more.

Me and my co-worker are also into talking about her guy that she for the moment is dating. The guy seems like a complete *** hole. Apparently they have known each other for 7 years and all of a sudden after dating for a while he just disappeared and is completely ignoring her even though she is reaching out. This girl got attitude and well, you don't mess with her. Have a feeling that he's afraid, lol. When are guys going to get it that we do not get mad because of what is being said but because of disappearing behaviour, not being able to communicate and honesty? Seriously, get with the program here guys. It's not that hard.
Haha, after some talks about this guy I just went: "Earthquake! That's what is needed! Same thing as yesterday for you! Earthquake!"
She started laughing: "Earthquake, you're crazy! You & your earthquakes!"

Also my co-worker did say this today: "I'm so sick of this place, I seriously need a vacation. If I go somewhere else and get a job I would take you with me. This is great having you here. Things are actually getting done. The girl before, took 2 months to get anything done if it ever got done."
Not that I'm going anywhere but I'm appreciated for my work. Go me! I'm a pretty good and hard-working team member that has made an impression after just 1 1/2 months, I guess. Have a feeling that my relaxed and weird stuff that come out of my mouth sometimes also entertains my co-worker, haha.

Today my company also got a new license. Now we got 2 lines. More people? No no, just more work.......... Me & the Technical Designer, a Chinese speaking woman in her 40's, are also getting buddies. She's actually awesome, even though I probably just understand 75% of what she is saying, haha. Great person to work with though. Me and her have a system how to keep all our 100 tech packs and specs in order and no mistakes. Hell no that I'm getting yelled at for forgetting to update something, and so is she. We're going to make our confused boss organized, if it's possible, haha.

The Michael fever continues....

I was on the way home and I get off at Jackson Heights (Ha, the name!) and I see around 40 people standing in a big crowd. Not at the usual place where a band plays. Instead the people where faced the other way. I just had to see what they were starring at. A screen with old 80's videos with Michael Jackson. Are you kidding me?! That got to have been that dvd/cd store owner's best move ever. The store is pretty new and no one is ever in there. Now he has put a screen in the window and playing MJ's songs and people are stopping. Not to mention the crowd, I was surprised! A mix of people, even Indian women with Indian clothing where standing there, starring and smiling. Everyone seems to have Michael fever in this country right now.....

Some people also like to push all the way to the end and take their life... Apparently 12 people have committed suicide, very dedicated and crazy Jackson fans.... OK.....

Monday, June 29, 2009

Go to bed Linda.

As always I get distracted when I should go to bed. Once again, Martin & Adrian up to their stupidity in Stockholm. The latest is there dance movie on Youtube for their trendgiveafuck thing and a protest against people being too trendy. There first movie is funnier though, just because I started to laugh when I saw that they were laughing. I have known these guys for 10 years and many years ago they used to be called Mangakillen & Mellankatten by me. I was MÃ¥llgan. Haha, the nicknames back then that all people got invented by me, pretty funny. I still get reminded about them from people. Times like this I really wish that me & Lisa still were friends, we would laugh and laugh about these stupid memories. Oh well, we grew away from each other and there is nothing I can do about or want to do about it.

I'm not really sure if this is funny though, they might have pushed the envelope too far. I just love the idea that they are just doing their own thing though and don't care at all what people think about them. I have been out with them in Stockholm by night some years ago, and these two go bananas and like to steal the show even without their outfits, haha.

Driver's license for kids...

Just saw a long interview with Michael Jackson from the 90's on tv. Poor man! I just say on thing about this: Some people having kids should just not be aloud to have kids, like Michael Jackson's dad. There should be a driver's license for people to get kids. I said it for many years.

No wonder that MJ was messed up. The whole thing with the nose and that the dad told him during his whole childhood that he had a big & ugly nose. What parent says that? I get so mad when I hear stuff like this and I just wanted to fight for little Michael as a kid.

Ok, I get it, but pls!

I get it, MJ is dead and people think this is horrible. Me too, but seriously, enough of Michael now! Wherever I go it's Jackson's music. In the cab, the elevator, in the deli and even in the office. The owner loves music and likes to play the same radio station again and again.... They keep repeating the same songs. We know them inside out now. Sometimes he switches to a cd, which we by now know inside out. It's all lovesongs. I thought it was only me that was THROWING up over all the lovesongs and slow as hell songs..... "Lady in red", ""Truly Madly Deaply"... Not to forget "Bridge over trouble water". Last week my co-worker next to me just went: "Linda, do you like this music?"
"Eh, a little too much love songs."
"I'm going insane! I even told **** to find a way to turn down the loud speaker in our area. It's THE SAME songs every day."
"Haha, you're not the only one! I allerigic to "Lady in Red" by now!"

Now they have started to play MJ's songs on the owner's piano while his partner plays on the bongo trums. Not kidding, we have musical instruments in the office that they play on every day making mini concerts for buyers and guests or just entertaining themselves. Haha, whoever said that men in the 50's and 60's ever grow up? I have a feeling that if these two were asked how they live life they would say something like: "I like to live life according to the work hard and play hard deal". Jahapp.

Monday stupidity.

Haha, I know that I'm getting in a really good mood when weird stuff come out of my mouth. My boss was out again so it was me & my co-worker. I was going to show something to her and my shoe hit her drawer with a noice. I go: "Ouch!"
My co-worker goes: "Did you hur yourself?!"
"No, I'm just making sound effects how the shoe is feeling, it got hurt and it can't talk."
She starts laughing: "You're crazy!"

Also the owner now makes a turn around my desk every day asking something about my work and then adds:
"Did you hear something from the lawyer?"
"Nope, not yet."
I think the owner feels that his company is getting a higher status by having a European person working in the office, haha. Whatever, works for me. I'm just being nice, smiles and do my best. It seems to be working great.

Other than that it's me & Mush this coming weekend, the dog. I'm not really sure about this. I have been offered to spend my weekend with this dog in Kirsten & Kelly's apartment next to Prospect Park. It's a supernice area. The dog is a little bit on its' own planet and I really wanted to go somewhere else as I have Friday off from work but well, no plans so I guess it's me and the dog. They are supposed to pay me so I guess that's good. I'm so ADVENTURE right now though! I feel so comfortable with everything and things just happen. I know this would happen. When my work stopped going out over my whole life and I started to just say NO when things are just not possible. Stand up for myslef, but still doing my best. Also just being me and realizing that it's more than enough. I'm a very likeable person, haha.

Celina sent some photos from Saturday at the Met.

Haha, my facial expression is just funny.

Walking around.

Yeah hello.

Excellent exhibiton.

Celina broke the rules and took photos, haha.

She managed to take a photo again, haha.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ice cream MADNESS!

I feel SICK! After x amount of Ben & Jerry's at Kirsten & Kelly's place and one Popsicle when I got home, I'm dead. So good though.

I was on the G train and this Mexican guy asked 5 times if I spoke Spanish. He got to have been my age. I just kept repeating that I don't speak Spanish and put back the headphone in my ear. Then he started asking if I was American, I answered Swedish. He was really disappointed that I didn't speak Spanish. When the trained stopped at the end stop he came up to me, took my hands and smiled to me and said: "Muy Linda" and walked away.
It wasn't even weird. I just smiled and said: "Thank you."
Little man, you made my evening.

I really feel like dancing! Life is amazing! Sun, heat, new adventures and YAY! Right now I can probably be exciting over everything. My visa additional evidence is sent in. Such a relief. I feel like something really big has fallen of my shoulders.

Spoke to M. too. I realized when we talked on the phone that I don't care anymore. I didn't shoot myself in the foot. I could get answers to all my questions but it wouldn't help. There is a whole world out there and well, I deserve someone that loves me, sees me for who I am, wants to embrace the whole world out there and not just parts of it. Wants to learn about my world, design, my culture, really take advantage of my unique personality and experience of my life. This was probably the best thing that ever could happen, so when you read this M. - THANK YOU!

It's all about the earthquake. It will happen on day, I'm a huge believer. Good Night.

Stuck on my mind!

Listening to Fibes, Oh Fibes! and their "Lovechild". This song is STUCK on my mind. Their video is weird, but the who-oh part is just so stuck.

Spontaneous evening!

Celina called me up at 4pm and asked if I wanted to join and see the " The Model as a Muse" exhibition at the Met. Why not? So we met up at 6.30 pm. Such a great exhibition! Both me and Celina loved it! GORGEOUS photos and basically the whole history of models from the 40's to now. They had built sections of different times in history. Had garments from those times and talked about supermodels of that time.

Ended the evening with a late dinner in Ktown eating some Korean food. Celina is leaving soon. Mid-August. So sad, but understanding. Apparently she was able to transfer her job from NYC to Korea so now she will work there instead at the Korea office. I can still come visit.

Met stairway. I love the interior of this museum.


Found a little room with gorgeous details. Celina was like: "Where are you going?" "Come on! I like small rooms like this! COME ON! Look!" It was like walking into another world.

Horse butts.

Walking around trying to find the actual exhibition we were going to see.

Celina and me.
An internship at Bill Blass in 2004 and so different personalities joined us. This is the person that followed me through visa struggles over the years and listened for hours when crazy stuff happened. Without a friend like this you are simply not going to survive in this city.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Replacement dog!

So as I no longer can hang out with M.'s Rufus I have got a new replacement dog. As I don't have any plans for 4th of July weekend I'm going to be dogsitting. Kirsten's Kelly brought his dog back to NYC and the dog can't go away on 4th of July so I will take care of it. It's a big dog with lots of fur! I'm meeting it later today or tomorrow. Exciting! The dog is at a dog spa right now, haha. Luxurious dog!

I miss Rufus though. It's pretty sad when I think about that me, M. and Rufus probably never are going to hang out again. I liked that. Ok. FOCUS. New replacement dog and no M. Shit I get distracted by all this bullshit. I guess we're never going to talk. So much back and forth messages and crap this week. Seriously someone pick up the damn phone. We're acting as we're 18 years old. Whatever happened to be a grown up and deal with things face to face? Whatever. Enough of this. I'm going to FOCUS on the replacement dog, my new job and fix my visa. Someone called this a power struggle, HAHA, oh so right! But the question is, what the one with the power win, to be on top of this? So stupid.

Hello old people!

I invited Christian to come to Stockholm if I'm there! Haha! FUN! Haven't seen him for 7 years. This is crazy! I have those random people all over the world that I sometimes reconnect with and need to see. We have been trying to see each other for many years. I was supposed to come to Berlin, he was supposed to come to NY sometime but I was pissed at him so he didn't come many years ago.

Anyway, this is my old neighbor from Paris. He lived on the 8th floor and me on the 7th. I was always super busy in Paris but when I sometimes had a free window we hanged out. Used to have a thing for hanging out in the hallway for hours and talk. We even lived together for a week or something when he moved out of his apartment.

Not really sure if my parents will think it's so fun to have one of my old friends visiting, haha. Oh well, I can't go to Berlin so well, deal with it. Might not happen so might just skip this. Probably more fun to hang out in NYC and I can focus on hanging out with my Swedish friends and family while in Sweden.

I did offer Christian though that he could camp in Sweden while there, haha. As all German people do like "allemansratten" I though he should just bring a tent. My parents backyard and a tent? Haha. He was not entertained by the camping deal. I thought it was pretty funny though..... Oh well. I guess it's just me that likes to make fun of the sterotypes of German people.... I mean this could be funny! Me waking up, looking out of the window and see a tent and I could wave to poor Christian sleeping in a tent in the backyard. This is mean, enough.

Grrr! I so wish I had time to do everything I want to do! I really want to go to Australia and visit Maiko too! Not happening right now though. All I should focus on is my job. That's it! Making money, working, planning for the future. 2010 will be the year for change and go bananas!


I'm awake! It looked like it was sunny outside but then realized that it was just an illusion. Ever going to be sunny? Guess not.
I feel relaxed today. Woke up and it's such a nice feeling to know that I don't have to stress with something. No papers for a visa, no calling here & there, no nothing. I'm starting out with a nice breakfast and just enjoying the moment. Yay!

I would want to have a picnic though. Most people seem to think they are a waste of time, too much fixing and then just sit in a park and do nothing, haha. I should hunt down a Kubb! I'm on a mission to teach the Americans to play this game. Unfortunately Tina didn't have the game, the game they had was apparently Dan's so it's long gone.

Should probably also book a ticket to Sweden, but wants to wait until the outcome of the visa thing comes out in less than 2 weeks. There are two scenarios:

1) I just have to leave to country. Basically if I just cross the border to Canada and go back again and I"m good. I just need to get approval of my visa. I have my old work visa in my passport so I'm good. Just need a stamp. How am I'm going to get to Canada though? Do I really need to fly there? Walk? Drive? Oh god, if this is the scenario I feel that this can be stupidity but the easiest choice.

2) Need to travel to Sweden to go to the US Embassy to get an approval. Complete pain to do this whole travel thing. Going to cost a lot of money too. I have nothing against traveling over there but buying a ticket a few days before the traveling date is not cheap. Oh well, it's just money.

I felt nervous with this leaving my job for a few days to fly to Sweden but when the owner on Friday started to ask when I'm leaving I got excited. He remembered! Haha! It's just my weirdo boss that says that the owner doesn't remember anything. I have a feeling that he just remembers what he wants to remember, typical guy thing. On a sidenote to that, I think my boss is on the way of checking out from this job or the owner is making her checking out. This lady, oh my, her leadership skills are so not..... let's just say not on the top. I had a deadline for all my 3 million tech packs on Friday and I told my boss that there was no way in hell that this was going to happen. If I don't get disturbed during a day things get done, but when the printer collapses, people keep asking for stuff, calls, sketching at the same time - things don't get done. I told my boss that on Thursday. She had stuff she needed to check, still she is leaving! No concern that this will be done tomorrow, just saying do it Monday. OK. Friday noon she calls, stressed as hell and want to know how much we are sending out. Me and the technical designer were just shaking our heads while we talked to this lady on the phone. She doesn't come in on Fridays and gives directions on the phone, OK. So I asked her what I should do with all of this that is not going to be done. Completely quiet on the phone. "Hello?" " I'm just thinking what to tell ******* ." Meaning the owner. Crazy people! This is so not my problem. Crazy management gives crazy results, seriously. Get your butt into the office instead of spending every Friday at home if things need to get done! I'm not mad though. Me & the technical designer are seeing this like a comedy. We laugh and just shake or heads. Some things you just can't change. I mean it's not our problem and the owner knows that.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Rain, rain, rain.

Soooooooo, the balcony never happened. Of course it started to rain. What's up with this rain? It's raining every day! So gray and dead weather again. Grrrrr! This is not summer! WHERE is the sun?! Anyone?


Haha! Today we had our first summer hour. Wonderful! Got out at 3:45pm. This is great! The owner was walking around the office, saying stuff as: "Nobody is leaving? We're having summer hours! I appreciate your loyalty here but...." Then we all left, he wanted everyone to leave so he could close the office, haha. So that was it!

So sleepy it's unbelievable. I should take a nap. It's stuffy in the apartment and I wish we had AC but we don't so stuffy it is. Might take a nap in my hammock on the balcony or read something. I really just want to be. No stress, no rush, no nothing.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson is dead.

He's dead. So weird. The whole office was just: "What, Michael Jackson is dead? Seriously?" So weird. The man of all weirdness on this planet is just gone. My first question was: "So what will happen with his kids?" I wonder.


I'm seriously on the edge of climbing on the walls right now. I can't provide all info for this visa additional evidence thing and the attorney is bugging me the last hours before this is sent out that I need to provide the last evidence that doesn't exist. I guess my chances went down the drain to succeed with this. Now i get NERVOUS. I NEED this to go through. I'm so screwed. I guess I should start preparing for living in Stockholm in a near future.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


The owner signed the letter! I was a little bit nervous when he wanted to read through the 4 pages that the attorney wrote. It's all just bullshit or not really, just very.... exactly what the visa people want. Well, if that's what have to be done, that's just how it is. Anyway, the owner came back to my desk with the papers and said: "If I could write like that, I would had been an attorney."
So the owner was impressed and signed it without a question. Got the two signatures and dropped it off at the law office on Park Avenue some hours later. All the papers are being sent in tomorrow and that's it! Now it's just to wait and then to tell the owner that I need to travel to Sweden in like 2 1/2 week, haha. Should be fine though. This man has serious respect for me and my skills for building tech packs, haha. Never ever thought that those years of training at my old job and being "the expert of tech packs" would get me a job in rough job market.

He's a little bit over his head though this owner. He wants ALL the hanger info to be on the tech packs. That's just crazy. I have 20 pages with hanger info for all major department stores over the US. Anyway, my co-worker said as it was that this is dangerous business to put hanger info on tech packs as hangers change for department stores to department stores. Sooooooo, in the end this whole gigantic project with hangers turned into just a few sentences. Absolutely wonderful. All because me & my co-worker stayed calm and explained the situation. I got power everyone, I got POWER!

Also, the most important of the day. The attorney said the following about my visa petition: "You have a good chance for success". Just hope for the best I guess....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I have spent my evening printing out the necessary visa papers on company letterhead for the owner to sign. My printer was as always going bananas but finally decided to collaborate. Soooooooooo.... everything is done that needs to be done & can be done and now I just needs two signatures from the owner. That's it. Hopefully he will sign this. PLEASE make this go smooth and that he will sign this and that they will get back to me with a good response for this additional evidence thing once sent in.....

I shouldn't worry though. I have done everything that can be done considering the situation. If this is not meant to be, it's just how it is and I have to accept it. I'm hopeful though. This will work. Have to keep the hope on the high level. As my math teacher Maj-Britt said to David Almqvist in my math class in high school, like 1999, when in his goal for the math class was "MVG" (Very much pass) and Majsan said sarcastically: "Well, the hope that's the last thing that leaves a human being."
Majsan was a hell of a woman. Anyone that ever had her remembered her. She even told me when she found out that I was a "Bild-Estet (Art & Design Major): "What are YOU doing there? I never would had guessed that." Meaning that all art students had no skills in math and never got a good grade.

My situation is not that bad. This is going to work, I have decided that! I'm keeping the hope high!

I forgot to tell what happened with my boss today too. I talked about my visa and she started to ask about my family. I said that my family are all in Sweden and that I have lived here by myself for 6 years and before that 2 years in France. She looked at me like I was an alien:
"And you came here for what?"
"To study."
"Really? That got to be so hard...You're here by yourself?" Weird face.
"Well, most people I know have lived abroad and moved at an early age. I moved away from home when I was 19 and some I know moved when they were 15."
"Wow, got to be so hard."
"Not really. I have lived abroad for 8 years. It was hard when I was 19 but after that it's just a lifestyle. I live here."
"You don't.... like Sweden? Miss your family?"
"I used to travel back every 6 months before so it's fine. As long as I go back for Christmas to see my family, I'm good. Before I also used to have a boyfriend that was American, so that's how I ended up staying here longer. "

After that my boss treats me with so much respect that it's just unbelievable. It's like she thinks I'm an amazing person. I guess it can be concluded that I'm a super strong person, at least according to others. According to myself I'm just normal, I'm just me. You can't trust anyone and I learnt that the hard way over many, many years. Once I learnt that lesson I could do anything and I built a thick skin. I was trained in the hard school of life, it was tough, but that's is how you survive in all weathers and you get to know yourself. Even though I'm trained in a tough reality, I'm probably more human, sensitive, understanding and helpful than I ever have been at this point.

Here we go!

Today is a good day! I'm seriously getting to know my co-workers. I think they really start to like me. For every day that goes I understand more and more how much I have learnt over the years. Not the skills of my job, but everything around.

So, I have talked to my boss and we have cleared out that I'm going to Sweden 13-19 July to pick up my visa. Still have to talk to the owner but he likes me so he should be easy. All I have to hope for now is that my visa petition will go through with the additional evidence. I don't know about this. I'm nervous and there is a lot of things to be nervous about. I couldn't provide all the evidence needed but my new attorney wrote a killer letter to explain the company I work for. I don't understand half of the things in the letter as it keeps referring to the law about weird stuff. As long as the owner signs this though, I'm good. I just have to keep my fingers crossed. This is being sent in on Thursday and being filed on Friday. So less than 14 days from Friday I will know my destiny................................................................................................

Haha, I went to Conway today btw. My co-worker bought new headphones at Conway so I went there too later in the day to buy a pair. I mean seriously who wants to spend money on a pair of headphones? Anyway, Conway is like Bosse Olsson or Galne Gunnar in Sweden, just 10 times worse. They sell everything that can be needed on this planet, just cheap and it's weird & dirty people in there. I was probably the only white person in the entire store. I also bought a gigantic bag with mini Snickers that didn't taste like Snickers, probably old but they were good anyway. I feel sick now though. Anyhow, on my mission to pay for my headphones and my bag with Snickers, the mission to pay involved dealing with the weirdo people at this place....
I was standing in line and one cashier waived next on the left and the lady standing next to me speeded away. Knowing that I was next! What the hell! She looked a little bit dangerous so I didn't want to argue. I was standing there again waiting for my turn and the cashier on the right said next and I moved towards that and the two black girls on the side were like: "Oh no, ma turn is up next." Didn't want to argue with that either.... Finally reached the cashier. Quite a weird mission. I'm not going to Conway again for a long time. It's dangerous. I have only been there twice before and every time it's weirdo people in there. Seriously, it's that type of place where all the stereotypes of the society comes out and it's not pretty. These Snickers are still making me sick too....urg.... My headphones are working great though! Dinner time!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Some people just haven't discovered technology....

Today I have taught my boss how to use the copy machine. Not kidding. She didn't know how to change the scale of something. So I taught her about the function of "Copy Ratio" and how to get what's in the copy machine to become, let's say, 20% smaller. Wow.

Also, my boss has slight issues with Internet. The other day she typed in the the same website twice and was asking how come the website didn't work...... Ok.

My boss also thinks that I should fix the printer. It gave up on life today. Started blinking "Switch on/off" and my boss was wondering where my solution was for that. Hm. Do I look like a technician? It has done this before.

I thought my mom was behind with computers & Internet but compared to this she is a superstar! Seriously! My mom has even joined facebook and knows how to use MSN Messenger. For my boss she still doesn't understand what our server is.....

Other than that we have today been refused to get an intern. According to the owner "we over there" (meaning design) don't do enough work anyway, so there is no need for an intern. Ok.

Crazy people. God Night. I'm passing out. Hanged out with Kirsten at a bar eating unhealthy food & drinking beer. Lovely start of the week.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Rain, rain and more rain.

Spent my day with Emma 4 years old. She even made me a painting. I am going to put this painting on our fridge. It will be nice. Should seriously continue with this babysitting for as long as possible. It's super easy and after some hours I have made the spending money for a week.

I'm so sleepy. It's all because of this gray weather and rain that never stops. Feeling weird today. I really don't want it to be Monday tomorrow. I feel like I never get to sleep.

My mind wants to be somewhere else, but I'm here. I guess it really wouldn't matter where I am right now. My head would still be spinning in crazy directions. Some things just need time. I hate when stress is starting to take me over. I can't focus on anything how much I even want to. Ok, relax is what I'm going to do right now.

Oh! I saw that my niece is going to Roskilde, a Dannish music festival. had to go on Roskilde's website to see what bands are coming this year. Time goes so fast. I was at Roskilde '00, '01 and '02. It was a weird and funny experience. I got tapes from all those festivals with strange interviews with friends, new found friends and just randomness. I think what I remember most from that time was when Jocke ran a speed race between all tents and pulled up all tent strings, haha. Funny, but not popular.... Also the hippie trap, the rain of like 2" in mine & Ylva's tent one year.... Never stopped raining that year. Memories. Should I go to a music festival again? Not really. I seriously can't deal with all the dirt for a week. Camping for a few days maybe, but a week.... I seriously would kill myself. I have a feeling that the convenience level compared to when I was early 20 is a little bit higher. I wouldn't mind camping in the Stockholm's skargard though, that would be nice and less dirty.

Enough of these random thoughs. I have check the letter from my attorney.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Out of the blue...

So I never ended up going to Coney Island. I started to go to the subway and it was pouring so I gave up. Went home and later went to dinner with Tina and Taylor instead in Williamsburg. Had a nice dinner at a French restaurant just chatting away in the backyard.

Right before I left for the dinner I got a mess for M. Something about that we should talk soon. I don't know. I didn't like the tone of the mess. I mean couldn't that had been asked as a question: "Do you want to talk?" I guess not. He says that I'm bossy, who the hell is bossy here?! I'm just going to ignore it for now. If he really wants to talk to me, he'll find a way to talk to me. I'm just doing my own thing. For me talking to him again there needs to be an earthquake. A simple mess is just not going to cut it for me.

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Emma 4 years old! YAY! It's awesome to hang out with my little friend and get paid for it. Emma is the cutest. Her world is just so..... child. Just going to the playground and eat and ice cream is a huge adventure. Getting a balloon is amazing. Inventing a game with no real point is fun for her too. It's great. I love it! Hanging out with a kid just make me realize that life doesn't have to be that crazy to be nice. I wish I had a 4 year olds point of view. It would make everything so easy.

Speed up!

I should get going NOW to be able to see the Mermaid Parade! Still I'm sitting here, thinking. For some reason I started listening to Lars Winnerback. I haven't listened to that for years. Found that song "Idiot" that is just so.... right. For some reason that song just makes me think about myself and my life.

What people should think about when they do everything possible to succeed with a dream, it might not be enough. Because it doesn't matter how much you succeed with your dream & do success if you are all by yourself. No one is there to share what you accomplish and it just sucks.

I hate this weather. It's just so gray and dead, it makes me depressed. I'm in a good mood though. Meeting Tina for dinner hopefully. We talked about weird stuff on the phone like "vaxtvark"... Anyway, just wish things were different. Realistic it is to keep my head straight. Shouldn't hold on to something that's not right and never was right, just move on. Move on is the hardest thing ever though when there is still no closure. How much I wanted this to work, it was never going to work. I have to make my head to understand that.

Mermaid Parade it is! GO!

Hello Coney Island!

I'm going to Coney Island today with Kirsten and some other people. Invited Tina to come along. Apparently Kirsten is going to get dressed up as a mermaid to walk in the Mermaid Parade. I have offered to be support of this mermaid think but not dress up. Should be fun. I have loaded new batteries in the camera, going to eat breakfast and then call to see when we're going. It' gray outside, boring weather. Hopefully it doesn't start raining.... Oh well, at least I get to see the beach at Coney. Saturday adventures!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Another one gone....

Here we go again, Friday. I love this day as much as I hate it. My head is just D E A D after this week. I did accomplish what I was supposed to do today though. YAY! I worked my ass off and when I walked into the owner's office at noon he said: "You're done with the whole list?! GREAT JOB!"
He was super impressed and introduced me to the weirdo man that is apparently going to produce some of our garments. Seriously this man from Egypt, no idea where they found him but more sleezy guy is hard to find. You know the once that have their shirt buttoned down half way and hair sticking out, overweight and in the middle of everything this man was eating pretzels as a maniac.... For all the technical packages the owner present and I explain confusion with them this man kept saying; "No problem, no problem." I would so not belive him, all he was into was his pretzels and his phone. Weirdo! Looking forward to see how these garments will come out.........

When I do not get disturbed and my boss is out of the office things get done. I think this raised my up to the sky and I can ask the owner to sigh the letter from the attorney for my visa without an issue on Monday.

Have been talking to Celina on the phone the entire evening. She keeps getting calls from Korea, so this far during the evening she has called me back five times, for about 3 hours. She's supposed to call me back again. She traveled to Korea for business and personal for 3 weeks. She has been back for a week or so but things have been crazy. Apparently she's on a hunt for a new roommate and can't find anyone. This economy, this economy.... It never used to be this way!

Anyway, Celina is moving back to Korea in August. I'm sad about this. I have known her since Summer '04 when we interned together at Bill Blass. She is the friend I have known the longest in NYC so this is just devastating news. She invited me to come to Korea though. What did I answer? "I'm so TAKING YOU UP ON THIS OFFER right now! I'm coming in 2010! No question!"
We are going to travel to Japan too! Exciting stuff. This completely gives me energy to fight for my visa and stand 6 months at this disorganized company to make money to travel to Asia. I always wanted to go there! I know 3 people in Seoul! This is what happens when you went to an international school. You know people all over the world - I love it!

Other than that I'm feeling a little bit down about this M. thing. It always happens on Fridays. We were supposed to talk this week, guess that's not happening. I'm so not going to contact him. He has my number and I have done my efforts. I figured that whole part of talking when he got back was just a stunt from his side to cover up the situation. Really, I do understand that we no longer are together but not even a message asking how I'm doing? Are we really on that level? Did I even know this person? I guess we're not even friends.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The never ending story....

The stress level right now is UP HERE! I get so tired of this no organisation at my work. I seriously can't stand this because I know it doesn't have to be this way. Whatever. My boss is forgiven though. We're friends now. I told her about my visa, making huge progress with this woman. She even said I'm doing a great job. Wow.

I'm not sure if my visa is fixable. God, this is almost impossible. Today I ran into a new mountain to climb. If this shit get messed up it's hello Stockholm forever, in like 3 weeks. Can so not believe this scenario. I have decided though that I'm not going to worry about this. Just let the attorney send in that damn petition revised and whatever the result will be, I will deal with it then.

Screw this. I'm going to bed. Have to be at work deadly early tomorrow. If I only could say to the owner: "Nu javlar lugnar du ner dig annars kan du gora dina forbannade technical packages sjalv!" but you cannot say that. Sooooooooooooooooooo, I'm stuck at work tomorrow to finish this. Impossible to finish with the time frame? That's not something that people listen to. Why not get a bed and sleep in the office, that's the attitude that we should breath. NYC, work your ass off. It will not be like this forever, but when it's sampling time, it's stress on a crazy level.

But I did make friends with a girl in buying today. I needed all this info for my visa and she was so nice to tell me all the info, even though she was already on the way to leave work. Lori is my new superstar! She is the best! I even told her that: "Lori, you are THE BEST! You cannot believe how much you are saving me right now!"
"Haha, you're so funny."
I'm seriously making friends with this girl. Talk about helpful. She is AWESOME!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


My patience is DONE! Seriously DONE with my boss. Today she yelled at me because I didn't send out color cards and didn't staple together her tech packs. What on earth is WRONG with people? I always see it this way: How you instruct and the time you give - that is the result you get.

I asked her what was supposed to be included in the tech packs. SHE WAS THERE! Still she goes bananas and take it out on me. This lady is seriously crazy or maybe extremely frustrated with her job.

Then one of our styles came in, bought for a major department store, and the spec was incorrect so the style was wrong. It's being shipped out in like 4 days.... So the owner goes bananas and starts yelling at my boss that this is what might kill us. Wow. Dramatic. In the end the owner runs of and my boss says: "Did yo use how he spoke to me? Did you see?"
Here we go again...............blah blah blah...... You're the boss, you organize and drive the team. The team has no organization, who is to blame for that? I say no more.

Anyway, in the afternoon I seemed forgiven by this woman. She got distracted. So now we are on good term with each other. She is still moody as hell though. Do I honestly really want to deal with this drama? Fashion is a wonderful world.....

Oh No.

My co-worker is going to be out today. So it's me and my boss. I'm not really sure if I like this. I think I'm allergic to women in their 50's and 60's. Especially the once that likes to bad mouth the entire world basically. As I say when people get negative about their situation: "As least you are not living in a refugee camp in Africa!" Always a conversation starter. Not that I'm going to say that to this lady but yeah.... She is not living in a refugee camp in Africa so deal with it. End of story. I'm a not going to say a single mean thing about anyone, it's just a waste of time and stupid.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Earplugs next!

My slightly annoying French roommate is playing all various music on the loudest level ever. WOW! Right when I wrote that she turned off the music! YAY! Oh no... Here we go again. Now apparently it's French music. I guess she gave up on the Hip Hop.

For some reason I can't stand this girl. She is driving me insane. Probably because she is manipulative and pushy as hell. Still not forgiving her for that time she paid rent 10 days later either and I got to deal with the landlord.

Anyway, I'm going to bed soon and this music is going to go on for some time. Consideration for other people? That's really not her strongest side. I so wish she could just move but I guess in these economic times we can be happy that we have a normal (somewhat) roommate. Should I tell her to turn down the music? I really don't want to deal with her. She seems slight crazy today.

Me and my roommate Joanna have been watching our French roommate from the couch in the living room with fascination. This girl is weirdness on top level, seriously. I'm a bit entertained by Joanna. I know her so well and can read her face. She looks towards the kitchen when the French girl comes out and her face says it all: "What on earth is she up to now? " She always has a weird project going on. Today it's loud music and weird banging at random places on the walls from her room..... OK.

Stress kills.

I woke up today and I felt excellent! I have a feeling that Saturdays going forward will be rough days. Spent to just recover from stressful weeks. Should be fine though. I'm not going to spend my whole life at that job and I have decided to give this 2009 out and then new life. I could dump this now but that would be stupid with the current economy. Just wait it all out and start fresh 2010.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Is this for real?

I'm starting to not believe my reality called life! I woke up this Saturday morning and I was tired. Completely out of it. Let's just say that Thursday and Friday at work was not they most calmest days ever. Ended in that my boss apologized on the owner's behalf. Crazy.

Anyway, I'm waking up and I'm so not feeling this. Chat on Facebook with Tina about NYC craziness when it comes to working. My co-worker sitting next to me at work is on the edge of having a nervous breakdown and I do not want to end up that way. I can handle stress but I cannot handle management that do not know what they want. So I'm not sure what I want to do with this job... Maybe I should just walk out of this situation or maybe I should stay.. Who knows.

I spent my day running around downtown Manhattan. Union Square, Broadway down and then Chinatown. Bought all the ingredients to make green papaya salad. As I no longer have access to M's fridge and I now live in my apartment full time I simply have to buy ingredients for making papaya salad. I guess buying all the ingredients is a realization that this is my life now, how boring it may seem.

Also, I had a complete twilight situation in Astoria earlier today. I stopped at Steinway street to run some errands and WHO do I run into... Catrin! Of all people that you possible can run into I have to run into her. Seriously? I haven't been to Astoria for probably more than 6 months and still I run into this girl. What the hell? So AWKWARD I thought I just wanted to kill myself. She doesn't even live close to that area of Steinway. Come on! I just got so surprised to see her and said loud when she passed by me:
She turned around, looked at me, moved her hand in an ignorant way and said: "I have to go." She SPEEDED away and I continued walking the other way. What? Was that for real? Not even a "Hi, how are you doing?" What is wrong with people?!

Mine and Catrin's friendship ended New Years '09. She was supposed to call me so we could meet up. I sent a message around dinner to her on New Years about what was going on. Reply that she didn't know. Then I got a message 11.30pm on New Years that she was on the was to Sparrow. I sent a mess back: "Eh, maybe a little bit too late? I have been out for some hours now."
Then I found out that she had been out many hours earlier doing stuff without letting me know. What? I mean if someone doesn't want to hang out with me, just tell me! How hard can it be?? Are we 5 years old or what?! The point here is not that I was out doing something else, the point is that I was talking to her during entire December that we should do something for New Years. I suggested dinner as she didn't want to go out, but that apparently that wasn't good enough. But hanging out with other people, that apparently worked! Anyway, I got tired of our friendship where I was the only one that tried. I shouldn't be the person that always calls and when I did, I got to listen to her. I listened and supported her when she was unemployed, had visa issues and broke up with her boyfriend after 5 years. Where on earth was she for me in December '08? Definitely not supporting me! Instead of listening I got told that: "This is the situation, deal with it."

I'm an awesome person when people are my friend. I listen, I support, I suggest, I help.... For Catrin I did that and I just felt that I got slammed in the face. I'm not mad at her though. I still think we can maintain out of courtesy a nice attitude if we run into each other on the street. Apparently not. God, what have I done to this planet to be punished like this for the past 1 1/2 month? I just wonder.

To top of this day I was at Kinkos and a crazy guy came attacking me: "HI! You look like a professional person! I need to send a fax to this job I did an interview for and I sent a thank you note to the wrong address and I'm now trying to fix this. Do you want to read the fax I'm sending?"
"Eh, ok..."
I read it, couldn't really get it as I still was so confused about this Catrin thing and I was in the middle of sending a mess to Tina. He went on and on and on and on and on about this fax that he needed to send. Then he went crazy running around Kinkos believing he lost his debit card. A loud noice like a fire alarm started going off and the copy machine didn't collaborate with me the first time. I got my copies and left, enough of this craziness. No more Astoria for a while.

I have been saying this to Kirsten several times. I should write a comedy about my life. Something always happens, it's never smooth!

Now I'm going to make Green Papaya Salad and watch "Anne Frank". I'm sick of this craziness so I'm signing off from this day. I need to relax. It's raining, gray and cold outside. No need to go bananas and do something. Hopefully a better day tomorrow. Pls?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Lost my mind!

I have officially lost my mind! Today I hired a new attorney, Deborah, the one that helped me report my old one. Well, I might be insane but I did mean it with that I'm going all the way. My work visa case is fixable but there is a twist to it. I have to fly to Sweden to pick up the visa. So I'm probably coming to Sweden in mid-July to pick up my new visa. I talked to my employer and he said: "We will do anything possible to solve this." Am I a superstar or a superstar?

Tomorrow I'm reporting my first attorney, meeting with a very important woman to report my case. Right now I'm typing up my complaint and I have printed out 100 pages of email conversations with my old attorney. Time to fight and report this woman, she is going down. Right should be right. Have to figure out how I'm going to present my case. Should I had been an attorney?

Soooooooooo tired. I'm seriously working my ass off but I love it. This is how it should be and I'm making really great friends with the girl sitting next to me at work. Also my boss seems to have understood that I'm a great person to give all the stuff to. She was not coming in today and usually she never calls me but this time I spent 15 minutes with her on the phone. I should probably add that I got pissed Monday afternoon about the no organisation with what I do. Seriously the girl before me, I have no clue what she was doing. Things are missing, there are no records of anything and I just wanted to scream out loud. I have two hands and this mess that they have put me on to solve is just insane. So I spoke up and told my boss that I don't work this way with no records of anything being done and that I don't keep info in my head just randomly remembering it. With that said I set up a new system and my boss now things I'm apparently good to call when she's out of the office to get things done. I have a feeling she is testing me but let's just say that I'm testing her to. Have a feeling that she realized that I argue when things are not done the right way, haha. Superstar? Yes, for the moment.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Reality goes BANANAS!

Yesterday was just..... random. Today I woke up confused in my bed and the first thing I did was checking my phone. Yes, it did happen. I checked my bag and found the little piece of paper with a phone number & email. So it did happen. I thought I was dreaming this whole thing!

Me and Tina had decided to meet up in Williamsburg at 8pm. Dinner. When it's 3pm I get a message on my cell from that girl Liv, that I met 3 weeks ago through Kirsten's friend. Liv was apparently on the way to Manhattan to check out Topshop. I met up with her a bit later in the city. Turns out that we get along great, walked Broadway down and talking about random stuff.

I'm on the way of leaving when Liv asks if I want to join and meet up with her Swedish/American boyfriend and his Japanese friends. That's how I end up in East Village at Japanese restaurant with 15 japanese people and 2 Swedes. Beer, sake, suchi, kimchi floating around the table. These people went all the way. Starting buildning castles with the sake glases and in the end had a bill for $700. Crazy!

I was trying to invite Tina and her friend to come over but they wanted to stay in Williamsburg. So never ended up meeting her and instead hanging with these Japanese people. Some weirdo did his card tricks and another one dressed in Hawaii shirt and straw hat just went bananas. Went to a new place with outdoor space and hanging out there instead.

At my phone I also have a random message from unknown number saying Wednesday, 9.35pm, Washington Square Park. Whatever that now means? Am I supposed to be there?

When I was on the way home I ended up meeting this woman, probably my age, and we sat at the sidewalk talking about life & idiots. Crazy. Right now I'm just meeting random people. NYC by night, you never now what will happen. All I was supposed to do yesterday was to have dinner with Tina in Williamsburg, some hang out and instead this happened. I have a feeling that I will do more than well in the next months. I'm back and I have been so not me for the past year. This is who I am and I'm never going to compromise myself again to the extend to lose myself.

Friday, June 5, 2009

The mood is going UP!

I'm just smiling! I'm in an excellent mood! I finished my week at work and just felt happy. Had a slight no-patience-attack at my computer and the server that just worked slooooooooooow at work and people kept giving me more & more work that kept building up to a gigantic monster. Finally the idiot computer started working after a crash, the whole screen went black and I restarted it the 4th time in a day. I have no idea where on earth the found this Mac but it's not working!

I just realize when I work now, how much I have learnt over the years. The small talk, office politics and just making friends with everyone. Always interested attitude no matter what the topic is. Smile. Getting stuff done fast. Elevator talk with strangers and everything else that is so American but oh so the key to getting somewhere.

Oh! Haha! Today I saw Tommy Hilfiger - in person! He just passed by me. Not kidding, my building apparently has some celebrities coming and going. I was on the way in from lunch and I see Tommy Hilfiger coming out from the elevator and this man who apparently was hosting Hilfiger's visit felt a need to shake his hand and greatly appreciate him for coming by in the middle of the elevator when people where walking in. Pretty cool though. I felt like a complete nerd though when Hilfiger looked at me and I just wanted to point a finger and say: "I know who you are!" My co-worker said that they have several celebrities and well-known people in this building. More to come I guess!

Spent my Friday evening at a very male oriented sport bar with Kirsten, haha. Had fries and mozzarella sticks & beer. The bartender was apparently very entertained by the two of us that were completely out of place but not caring at all. It was the closest place we could find in the rain without getting soaked. Got a t-shirt with a reverse print from Kirsten.

Times are good right now. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Tina. Not really sure what we are dong but something. The rain just need to stop, it's June for crying out loud! It should be excellent weather and no rain! I need to plan my summer, fix my visa and just get things up and running.

Today I also recruited a new attorney, the same one that helped to report my old attorney. So now I have someone to do a killer visa additional evidence case for me. Hell no, I'm not giving up now. I'm going all the way. It's time to get somwhere and I got a job in a recession in a country with currently 9.4% unemployment.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


New day, new times. Already Thursday! Meeting a new attorney today to try to convince him to take over my visa case.... Let's see how well that will go, haha.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Go me!

I think I just had the best day at work ever! Finally I think that my boss actually do notice that I have some good skills. The owner knows that but my boss of the little design department seems a little bit suspicious of me. Have I finally succeed in making a good impression? Took some weeks but I'm making progress.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Helllo Earth.

Today is not a good day. I'm so tired. Work was ok, had to work on the catalog which was just disaster since they kept adding pages so I had to start from the beginning again.

Forgot to mention yesterdays news. Got the money back from my attorney. Just the attorney fee but still, wow, I'm impressed! Never ever thought she would give the money back. I guess this shows the skills I learnt over the years to negotiate and attack with a flattering, nice, appreciation way but still adding the request at the end. I did not tell this woman that she's an idiot for screwing up my visa transfer. I did not say that I'm mad. I just kept it calm in the emails, explaining the situation and my request.

I don't know what to do with my visa though. I have to find a new attorney to take over this mess case. I guess I should stay in this country. Somehow after working for 2 1/2 weeks I already feel kind of tired of this whole "stress your ass" off mood that comes with my profession. It's good to have a job in a recession, I'm happy. Meanwhile I still feel drained. Let down maybe. Sometimes I just wish that things would come easy and less struggle, that goes for everything. I just have a feeling that even if I solve this visa, something else would come up. It just doesn't work that way that things are easy in my world, it never is. Everything involves climbing over several mountains, stress and finding solutions.