Thursday, July 30, 2009


I'm so optimistic about something where I probably shouldn't. It's just inside of me. Typically me to believe that nothing is impossible. When am I going to learn? I just wonder. Well, until that day I'm just optimistic. At least it makes me happy. Sooner or later I will figure it our or get my answer. I'm a true believer that this will work though.

Crazy me. I'm a dreamer.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

KILLER letter.

I just wrote a 4 page KILLER letter to the supreme court where you report attorneys that haven't treated you the right way. I'm so proud of myself. I wrote the letter Sunday and read it through today. I'm pretty good once I focus and write something, really. I think this might have been ne of the best letters I have written in my entire life!

I have a 1/2" stack of evidence papers to support my letter. Hell ya. My first attorney is going down. I hope that I in the end will be compensated for this. I never did anything wrong and I have my second attorney behind me.

Go Me!

Okidokit, time to continue to watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." I watched 40 minutes or so yesterday. Not as good as I expected. Have a little bit of "Titanic" feeling over it with the old lady. I don't know. Feels a little bit hello hollywood over the whole thing. Strong music in the background, lighting and Brad. Yeah hey hey.... Let's see how the rest of the movie will be.... At least I can say I saw the movie... Always a good conversation starter with various ppl here and there.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Too much to do, not enough time.

So tired it's unbelievable. This week at work was seriously complete madness. I like the place I work for. I feel really comfortable of just being me and just doing my thing. Still the workload certain weeks are just crazy. Maybe it's not really the workload, it's the management. The owner says one thing, does another. Also he doesn't remember anything at all that people tell him or give him.

The party on Wednesday night at Tribeca Grand was ok. Before we went there I was working late and RUSHING out packages for one of our makers. Complete madness to rush that way. I hate it but when the owner wants something out it just has to get out. Finally I was able to leave the office and walked with my boss in the same direction. When we left the office we just had a huge argument with our production assistant/secretary. I was explaining the situation to my boss and then I got to the bar where I was meeting Kirsten outside, my boss was still with me and I introduced her to Kirsten. Some chatting and my boss is leaving and she says to Kirsten: "Make sure this one has some drinks, she needs it. Tough day." HAHA.
Kirsten was like:
"I cannot believe your boss just said that!" after my boss left.
"Oh yeah, today was the craziest day ever. Unbelievable!"

When we got inside Kirsten said: "Oh Anthony is here too!" Haha, talk about trying to set people up. We hang out at the bar for a while and then head to Tribeca. On the way to a German restaurant/bar to grab a bite. Kelly was in the middle of describing the sausages Anthony said: "But is there anything for Linda to eat there?" Since when did what I can eat become his concern and how on earth did he know that I'm partly vegetarian? For some reason he also knew that I went to Parsons and I asked how he knew that: "Oh Kelly said that." What? People talk about me?

Finally went to Tribeca Grand to the book release party. Of course Kirsten and Kelly disappear mysteriously after a while and it's me and this Anthony talking. He seems nice I guess. Very normal and into design. The nicest thing though was when I talked about how my work function and deadlines he really got it. Apparently he had worked as a graphic artist for 7 years before going into sales and he so knew expectations, design, changes and madness. If people haven't worked in that type of industry, they just don't get it.

Kirsten showed up again and everyone else were gone: "Linda, can I ask you a question?"
"Do you like Anthony? Because I think he really likes you."
"He seems nice."

How on earth did I make this impression? Me? Seriously? Wow. And he is normal! For real? It's as Emmily always tells me, it seems as if I always meet weird people everywhere.

So I guess the future will tell what will happen with this. I'm just doing my thing. Focusing on my job is top priority. So much to do for next week that it's unbelievable! Ok, no stress about that. It's weekend. So much other things I need to fix but I'm so tired and just want to do nothing. Think I have to watch another movie. Saw "Brokeback Mountain" yesterday. In the beginning of the movie it seemed kind off slow and then half way through I was hooked. Almost started crying in the end when Heath Ledger hugged the shirt of his dead lover. So sad! Unbelievably beautiful and sad and just magic of love. Mix of societies unwritten rules of stereotype relationships and people forced into getting a family with someone else even though they love each other but couldn't be together. This was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. So good, om my. Also never knew Anne Hathaway was in this movie. So weird to see her doing a role like that.

Ok, now I'm going to write a killer response to the Departmental Disciplinary Committee where I have reported my first attorney. Just realized that I have to do that asap. The bitch responded to them and they forwarded the response to me. LIAR! I was so mad last Sunday. SO MAD! She claims that we had so many hours of phone conversations about my visa and BLAH BLAH. I'm so printing out all my phone bills from entire 2009 to prove my point that I haven't had a single phone conversation with her. Therefore she doesn't have any evidence and she is screwed. The emails between me and her are just awful. Such an idiot. Talk about that she has shot herself in the foot or as my dad said: "Desperate people do stuff like that when they get pushed into a corner."
She is so not messing with me. She screwed with me. It cost me money, stress and time. So she is going down. Killer response it is to explain my side of the situation. War it is.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Feeling sick...

I am not feeling good today. Felt like crap on the subway on the way back home. A bit passing out feeling.

Saw "Nine Lives" on my Netflix. It was pretty boring. Now I'm waiting for "Brokeback Mountain". It was supposed to be here today and it didn't show up. I'm disappointed. Where is it? I almost have to hunt down my landlord and ask them to open the general mailbox in hope that my movie is there! When I'm on a hunt I'm on a hunt! I want my movie!

Party time tomorrow. A book release for one of Kirsten's friends. Hopefully I feel normal tomorrow because today everything is just wrong with me. Such a drama day at work. Blah blah. I ask one thing, ok that day and another thing the other day. Today I reached the conclusion that I don't understand how this company can even get one garment done. It's unbelievable. Complete disorganization. Fine though, just not when I'm not feeling ok. Everything is spinning and I just want everything to be calm and I have a group of age 50+ people standing around the office going on and on and on and on about...... blah..... When I was on the way of wrapping up the day, of course the owner needs 4 catalogs ASAP. Don't people plan on this planet nowadays? Whatever. He said thank you twice after it was done and had a very awkward smile on his face. I just can't deal with stuff like this when I feel like I'm on the edge of passing out.

Ok, bedtime. I'm passing out. This is the time I really wish someone would just take care of me. Get me dinner in bed, fix and just make things better for a not feeling so well person. Oh well, can't have it all. God night.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

GLUED it is!

Bought a new pair of jeans today. Gray and SUPER skinny. They are seriously GLUED to my legs when I have them on. They were supposed to be capri length and they are not capri length on me for sure. They are regular length. Tried on normal length jeans too and they were all 2" to long. Therefore, I have today reached the conclusion that I have midget legs.

Also almost bought a pair of gladiator sandals. I have been eyeing a pair from Steve Madden since April but never bought them. The day was finally here and of course they didn't have a fitting size in 2 stores. I'm doing a new attempt tomorrow. I'm in love with these shoes, they're perfect.

Ok, bedtime.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Coney Island!

Had a great day at Coney Island with Yean. Walked around, found the Russian food store and just enjoyed the weather. This is summer at its' best!
Walked around...
Weird combinations... And Fanta! Haven't had Fanta in years, haha.
Hello Yean!

Beach adventure!

Going to Coney Island with Yean in some hours. Wanted to go to one of those super nice beaches on Long Island but it's such a long trip to get there. Yean has never been to Coney Island so it's good. I'm continuing to work on my list of stuff to do and starting the weekend with a simple Coney Island visit. At least I get to see sand! And when I look out of the window it looks like it will be a really nice day with sun. Great! Beach, water, sun, sunglasses, boardwalk and just summer. This will be great. Also I can now work on my unbelievable white legs.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Me & my Netflix.

Omg, I'm addicted to my Netflix! For real! Finally had to see "He's just not that into you". As I saw an hour of it on the trip to Toronto I had to see the end. It was not that good. Sure, funny sometimes but the book is 300 times better. Oh well, at least I have seen this movie.

My co-worker and me are getting really great friends now. I feel a little bit sorry for her though. She's still stuck on this guy and well, let's just say that it's killing her. Therefor it's good to see movies like this so I can talk to her and well, good conversation thing with this girl. Today when she left the conversation went:
"Have a great weekend, Linda."
"Sure, you too. Remember what we talked about: Breath i, Breath out. Let go."
"Haha, I know." Laugh. "You're so funny. I will breath in, breath out, haha"

This Anthony guy by the way. He found me on the Facebook chat the day after he added me. Took my email and we're going to this new place on Lower East Side next week that I have wanted to go to for some time. It's so WEIRD. Me and this guy have the same restaurants and places to got to. He says a place and I know it. I say a place and he knows it. He has wanted to try this place too so well now I got someone that really want to go to that place to.

Also planning the kayaking thing with Kacy and Ronit. Let's see if it will happen. Apparently Ronit's friend Mary had tried it last summer and said that people organizing it for a certain place were bad. So I'm determined to find another place. They have a really cool place in Long Island City. Exciting!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


EXCITING times! That's all I'm saying.... Get the party started! WHO-HOO! This is when NYC is just at its' best. I LOVE it!

NYC by night

Ok, I have to tell myself: " Do NOT party on a Wednesday!"
It's 1 am in the morning and I have to wake up in 6h. I had a really great night. Went with Kirsten and Kelly to a beerbar in Brooklyn. Imperial Stout it is. Then their friend Anothiny joined. Went to a German bar and hey ho let's go.
I get a message when I'm on the way home: "I think Anthony is interested in seeing you again".
Yeah hello. Go online when I get back home and this Anthony guy has added me as a friend on facebook. The funniest thing though was when Kelly was promoting his friend: "You would like him. He's really nice, just broke up with his girlfriend. He has a really nice apartment and some really nice furniture.
'What? Furniture? What on earth has that to do with this?"
"He's really into design. He got furniture with cool design."
"Eh, ok."
"Girls like you who are into design like guys who are into design."

HAHA! Let's just say that the evening was awesome. Even Mushie hanged out with us. I LOVE this part of Brooklyn! Get the party started!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

From hit my head in my desk behaviour to super smile!

Oh this day. At work it was the SLOWEST ever. Both me and my co-worker thought we were going to pass out. It's so weird that when things are slow at work how much more tired you become than if it's busy... Isn't it weird?? Is it only me that has made this observation??

Most exciting thing of the day was that my boss was back in the office and said: "Oh the Canadian!" about me. That was about the funniest comment of the day...Says everything about this slow day.

What I hate the most when things get slow though and I don't keep myself occupied is that I start to think. My thoughts goes on HIGH SPEED, like a hamster in the hamster wheel. Then I get all these destructive thoughts if I'm tired, which I was today. I feel like time is flying away, I'm sitting there and I should be doing something productive but nothing can get done. Then I start thinking about my life and my thoughts goes even more destructive. This is when I should just get myself to tell myself STOP. Do I? No. Idiot. I think way too much about everything, for sure.

Then I got this missing feeling in my body that was just killing everything. Do I seriously need to miss someone that doesn't even care or miss me? And for the matter of fact never truly cared. Am I an idiot? What planet am I from? Planet Stupid? I have been here before with people but this time it's just bad. I so hate myself when I get that missing feeling. It's killing everything. The feeling is just horrible, but it's just to deal with it. I can't deal with it though when I'm not productive. How on earth do I get my head to snap out of this?! At that point I just felt like hitting my head in my desk with a LOUD noice and just tell myself: "Linda - you are an idiot!" Did I? No, because I'm a very nice and chatty person at work, always helpful and always smiling. Behaviours like this would kill my image and I probably would be stamped as "The crazy Swedish girl" for the rest of my working time there so I did not do any destructive behaviours like that even though I wanted to.

To spice up this dead day I meet up with Yean. Took a walk down to East Village and ate a 3 course dinner with Sangria at this supernice Spanish place. The people working there were horrible compared to the time before I was there. They have a dirt cheap deal though. $20 for everything and the place is just so nice. Discovered this place some moths ago and nothing beats this. For the price this is the place to go to.

Catched up with Yean. Talked about visas, surviving in NYC and various stuff. We're meeting up on Saturday for one of my planned adventures. Haha, I have a whole list of stuff I want to do and now it's all happening as I no longer have to deal with M that doesn't like exhibitions, parks, design, art, beaches, museums or weird adventures. So this will be my time to do everything that I have wanted to do for years! You will find me running up and around NY State! My list is long and it does not only include NYC. Hell ya! Adventure it is! I'm a killer project leader. Branching out too, that's the key to learn and grow! This will be good. I have recruited Yean and she seems to have the same interest of weird projects, haha.

Monday, July 13, 2009


So I just watched half of "Pineapple Express", couldn't even finish it. So not my type of movie. Instead I ended up telling someone else about the movie and went to bed. I never understand "Superbad" and this was similar. Oh, well, can't love it all. Moving on to the next movie...

The Magic Wand.

Sometimes I just wish I had a Magic Wand and it all could happen. Until then, I have to be content sitting here. I so would be a superstar with ALL the power in the world...

I talked to my co-worker about this Magic Wand thing some days ago, haha. It would make everything so much more easier. I'm so happy though that I got self-control. She doesn't. She definitely needs a Magic Wand to at least control herself with her situation.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


I realized that this with rebuilding really gets helped with the music. I find anything CHEERFUL and SUPPORTIVE and HAPPY and listen to it and my mood gets that way. It's amazing. I should really start researching and finding music the same way I did when I was late teenager/early 20's. God, I really got lazy for the past years. Have to work on this. It's me & my world so I can like what I like, this is great!

Getting inspired!

So I have all these stuff I want to do. I'm starting a list of all stuff I wanted to do for years and never came around to do. It's time to get productive! First of all I want to go canoeing/kayaking at Hudson River. They have it for free several times a week. I have planned to go for many years and then I have just forgotten about it or been to lazy. I invited Kacy to join. She loves to do stuff like this. She always invite me to weird super ambitious adventures. Pretty sure I can get her and Ronit to join for river adventure!

Omg, I LOVE this! I used to be SUPER tired from my previous job but now I wake up at 8 am, even on weekends and just get like a Duracell bunny: "What to do?!" Haven't been like this for YEARS. This is how I used to be when I lived in Paris and Kacy still says: "Well, Linda you're the type of person I would expect had already seen EVERYTHING that can be seen, always out running around. Ronit is the same way. I'm just trying to get energy to do something, haha."
It's amazing that some people see me that way. It was so many years ago when I used to be super productive and 3 million projects, always on the go. I feel the energy is back though! Exciting! I think I'm going bananas though... I'm going to hunt down Maiko & her husband in San Fransisco to go visit. I feel it's time to see the West Coast, finally. It's project time and I'm the project leader, then stuff happens, haha.

Daugther/Father relationships....

Haha, I just came back from Target. Had to get some stuff so I took a walk over there. Successful mission but the funniest happened in the escalator. A man in his 30's was out walking with his kid and wife. The kid, around 7 years old is pissed, behaving ok but looked pissed at her dad and saying when she steped on the escalator:
"I don't like you!"
The dad responded: "I don't like you either but I still have to raise you until you are 18 years old. It's going to cost me 1000 of dollars. So you should like me."
The wife looked at her husband and says: "Please!"
They walked down the escalator and the dad started to touch the kid with his Target bag. Touching with the bag again and again. The kid looked annoyed.The wife looked at him again: "PLEASE!"

I mean was the dad the kid here or the kid? This touching with the bag is something my dad would had done. Actually my dad still does stuff like this. Poking people like me in the side and says: "Got ya!" So annoying. I so felt for this kid, haha.

Love the weather!

Had an excellent day so far! Hanged out at Celina's place in the morning. Just talking, updating and just enjoying great company. Then we took a walk through a street market and I headed towards getting my haircut.

Oh my, getting a haircut was probably one fo the best things I have done in a long time. My hair feels amazing, it might have been the best cut ever! My hair feels so much thicker and the hairdresser completely understood what I was telling her that I wanted.

Took a walk through Astoria again and realized that they closed a lot of the restaurants around there. I was almost in shock that some places closed! I mean some of these places are just, no way, that they can't disappear. They are memories, they ARE Astoria for me. So weird. Every time I walk around there it's like I see history in every corner. The basketball court where me, Susanne and Steven used to practise basketball... I had a weird dream 5 years ago that I would be a basketball superstar and start playing at the cool basketball court in Chinatown, don't even ask how this happened. Therefore we bought the cheapest basketball we could find and I got those two to practise with me. Let's just say that my "career" in basketball lasted 2 weeks or so.... haha... Passed by several restaurants and places where we used to hang. Passed by the pool in Astoria Park where we used to go and hang and take a swim, me looking like the whitest person this planet ever seen. Passed by Sparrow and the Beergarden. Almost passed by one of the places where I lived in '04. Time runs so fast. So many places, so many people and so many memories....

Oh btw, I joined Netflix! As my intention was when I got a job was to pay for M's Netflix to make up for using his and that's not happening, I'm getting my own! Omg, this is amazing! I'm the queen of the queue! I can add whatever I want to add, without hearing anyone behind me: "OH NO, we are NOT watching that one!" Haha! So now I can watch whatever I want to watch. Yesterday I saw "The Visitor". So sad but so good. Immigration, loneliness, a man falling in love at his old age, music, drums, NYC and just finding something to fight for on this planet. I alsmost started crying when Walter brought the mother of one of the lead characters to go to see "Phatom of the Opera". For him it was just a Broadway play, for her it was the biggest dream ever. So cute and beautiful. Give without expecting anything back.

Yeah hey hey!

I'm getting a haircut! Exciting! Dropping by Celina's apartment before. Astoria it is. So HAPPY to know, through Facebook status updates (where else? Spybook!) that Catrin is in Sweden for a month and there is no chance that I will run in to her. I can safely walk around the streets of Astoria, how nice!

Saturday, July 11, 2009


I'm so restless. I really want to go out! Think I have bar fever, it happens. Yesterday was great and wold like to have a repeat of yesterday. On the edge of dragging my slightly no-going-out-no-bars but awesome roommate to hang out somewhere, haha. Not happening, not in a million years. For something like that to happen the chances are as big as winning a $ 1,00,000 in lottery, if even that. Oh well, I guess I have to be content with just being for now. God, I got ants in my pants! This is when I know that I'm on the edge of being ME 200%! Yeah HELLO funny life!


Biggest news right now on one of Sweden's biggest newspaper's website.... "Dansbandsveckan" is apparently to hit a record of people visiting. For real? This music is something my dad used to listen to in the car on his tape player like during the 80's. Tapes gotten for free from a gas station. The tapes I later stole to make mixtapes with and record varies interviews with people on festivals.

Click on the link above and look at the photo of these people, says it all.... I know, I'm horrible but it's just.... yikes.... If you haven't heard this before... listen, it's itchy.

This is a type of music that is popular in the country to dance to. It's listed under geeky music, for real.. at least for me. How on earth did this end up as news at the front page of this paper's website?? Wow... I'm so not a fan of this type of music. It makes me itch. I'm a bit entertained though. It's funny. Makes me think of my childhood. My dad, mom, Loket (The host), Bingolotto (a tv show with Bingo), special bingo markers and this type of music.... Oh wow, those were the days.. HAHA. I just got nostalgic. Talked to my mom & dad (and the dog), my grandma and Emmily on the phone today.

Comment of the MONTH, my grandma stands for:
"Well, you know I was telling your parents that I was happy that this visa worked out. Obviously what is the most important is that this is something Linda really wanted and that's what really counts. I have always thought that."
FOR REAL? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? When I talked to my parents they said that my grandma thinks that she will not be alive by the time I decide, if ever, to move back to my home country. I don't even know what to say... You can't live your life through your kids & grandchildren maybe? This lady, we have a rough history. Didn't speak for a long time due that I wanted to be a fashion designer, move abroad and not become a doctor or an attorney. This was at least the most impressive and supportive comment she EVER said. Even my mom had heard something similar and she said that my grandma seems to become more "modern". Is someone pulling a really bad joke on me here? I cannot believe! Honestly, I'm in shock by hearing a comment like this. I have a feeling she has something behind this though, as always. She is not stupid and we know it all.


Just spent 2h on Skype with Emmily. Shit I so wish I could be there with Emmily and the rest and just enjoy the summer. I love these people! So supportive it's amazing. I talk, I feel confused and let down with certain things and Emmily is just the biggest supporter ever and so smart. Listened to her, give & take. It's so HEALTHY to have friends like this. I'm so grateful. It doesn't matter that I'm on the other side of the planet. Hm, I should do some research and see if I can hunt down a job for Emmily. She needs one, asap.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Emmily! You put my head back where it should be again. So true. People that know me since 11 years back. Emmily said things about me that are so true. I don't even know this about myself. It's a little bit scary though that some people know me better than I know myself, haha, but I guess that's why you have friends that know you inside out no matter what.


So Toronto. Basically I was the joke of the day, haha. I landed in Toronto around 1pm and sat outside the airport for like 15 minutes and then I went in to the departure and checked in to go back to NYC. The airline people where all confused:
"Eh why are you doing this?"
"Visa issues. I just needed to get out and in again, that's it."

Stood in line for about 1h and got a new white card in my passport. The person that helped me was super nice. She even fixed so my white card is valid to Oct. 30, 2012. She asked what I was doing:
"I'm a designer."
"Ah, nice to have you as a friend then."
I laughed several times, chatted along and said thank you. Evans, as her name was, in Canada at the border in Toronto, is the BEST ever!

On the airplane the flight attendant came up to me:
"Didn't you just fly with us...?"
"Yeah, I just had to fix my visa."
"Ah, ok."

Then I watched the middle of the movie "He's just not that into you." on the plane. Watched the beginning when I flew out. I have to get this movie now to see the end! I loved the book many years ago. Elizabeth, that used to hang out with me and Catrin at Sparrow many years ago told me to read this one after I was complaining about Chris. I was convinced that Chris was the superstar in my life, Chris didn't feel the same, haha. Pretty funny story, but anyway this book was the key to everything. Have a feeling that I went through some stocker tendencies back then, haha. Anyway, Catrin refused to read the book. She was completely into "Hatten" (The hat), haha and proabably already knew the answer. I gave the book to her a year later and she read it and said it was great.
It's seriously one of those books that should be mandatory for girls to read, no matter what - especially if you live in NYC. The movie started out pretty shitty but then became better. It's so true though what they take up. Ok, I need to find the movie in the next days to see the ending.

Ok, so conclusion of this is that the Toronto mission was successful. I'm HAPPY!

Hello Canada!

Manhattan in the middle and Brooklyn on the right side. Hello NYC a few hours later, haha.


Beer, pizza, stupidity, music and a nice time. All that was needed to celebrate my visa success. Hanged out with Tina and Taylor at this bar in Williamsburg. Some weirdo man came up to me and asked the most RUDE question ever. CRAZY people.

I guess everything will be ok. I'm rebuilding day by day. I feel happy. Breath in and breath out, that's all I'm doing though. Not much else to do.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Back in business!

Mission accomplished and I'm officially DONE with my visa. YEAH HEY HEY! Now I'm going to Williamsburg! See ya! Celebration drink it is - YAY! I LOVE Toronto!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Hello Toronto!

Less than 16 hours and I'm in Canada! Yeah hello Toronto! I'm EXCITED about this, not Canada, but excited about being NORMAL again! WHOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO! Scheduled Skype call with Emmily before I leave. LOVE SKYPE!

I'm going bananas when I'm coming back! After 6pm tomorrow, say hello to Linda being an official H-1B employee again. 3 months of hell. More than 7 months of solving going from another job to another and getting the visa with me. GO ME! I so kick ass for anyone that doesn't know that! Where is my diploma for solving the most impossible situation ever? And thank you everyone that helped a long the way! Now I just need to bring my first attorney DOWN.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Ticket to Toronto - Here we go!

I got my ticket! Had an idiot discussion with customer service for Lan airlines why on earth their website only works with Internet Explorer. Finally dumped their website and booked the ticket through Expedia. Got it, cheapest one that I could locate. Going to be 3 hours at Toronto's airport on Friday & then go back to NY again. Expensive hourly rate to be in Canada for 3 hours but if this what has to be done it has to be done. It was the only ticket I could find for a somewhat ok price. So no Niagara Falls or exploring of Toronto, whatever. I'm normal on Friday evening & legal in this country again.


Also for anyone that has missed it my new favorite word is bananas! Everything can be bananas. Oh my, have to watch myself so I don't say it in the office, haha. No idea where this came from. As everything, things come & go. Bananas is "in" in my world right now. Jahapp, everyone.

Also I really, really, really, really, really, REALLY would like to have a barbeque but I don't' have any space or a grill so that's not happening. I'm dreaming though! My landlord downstairs is using their backyard & their grill... I soon have to invite myself. It smells SO GOOD! My life would for the moment be complete with a barbeque, fixed visa and hello Canada. I cannot believe that starting from next week, I no longer have visa issues. I'm a normal person then! HELLO NORMAL LIFE!

Hello Toronto Friday or Saturday!

Soooooooooooooo.......... I was actually welcome back to the office today after checking before I left yesterday. The owner had calmed down and understood that NO ONE would come and knock on the door about having me there. He was super nice this morning when I said that I located the original papers of my visa approval and that Fedex finally had delivered the papers. So hello Toronto Friday or Saturday. Isn't the Niagara Falls around there? I have been checking on a map.... I know nothing of Canada. My first visit over there. Exciting!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Drama, drama, drama!

SUPER eventful day. Oh my, that's all I'm saying about this. Let's just say that Americans that never dealt with Immigration or visas at all think they are DANGEROUS and that I got a horrible DISEASE. To put it short, the owner of the company wants me to fly to Canada the minute I get the actual original of the visa approval in my hand. So hello Toronto tomorrow or Thursday........ No Vancouver.

Need to get this done ASAP, no question. Otherwise I simply have to start looking for another employment. He thinks I'm so dangerous due to my visa status (what?) that I should had liked jumped out of the office asap. Talk about freaking out 3 months too late! The good damn thing is DONE! I even offered that he could call me intern, still he though I had a disease.

To have the attorney explain the situation to him was both good and bad. Let's just say that I felt like I was dealing with a little brother of age 5 years, not using his ears. What's up with all these owners never standing still for 2 sec?? Just running, walking, running, walking.... I just wanted to scream: "STAND STILL FOR 5 MINUTES! WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING? CALM DOWN!" He's always running even though he got nothing to run for! Bananas ppl.
There was nothing to NOT be calm about. He just got facts, from my attorney and he started running like a hamster in the wheel. Not kidding. He ran AROUND the room, again and again. Do I have a job or did I join an episode of the show "The Office"? Seriously? At the same time my boss doesn't know how to restart her computer when the server crashed and a co-worker that is still talking about the last guy she was dating & her dream to have a real vacation. What have I done to this planet today?! ARGH!

Thanks & Good Night Earth, I'm checking out.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Locating Kate!

I'm trying to locate Kate in Canada! This would be AWESOME if I could fly and visit Kate in Vancouver this coming weekend. Approval notice of my visa in hand and some days in Vancouver. Just hope she is there and not in San Fransisco or out on a book tour again. Omg, if this would be possible it would make my summer amazing!! Kate is like my big sister and oh the fights we had many years ago, haha. Then we merged to great friends and supports of each others in the worst of situations. Without some of Kate's advises I probably would had dropped out of school or that crazy internship many years ago. But stay strong, keep your head high, bite the bullet, fight, don't trust anyone and believe in yourself, that's what I learnt from this woman.

Hello Canada!

So no Sweden coming up. I have to go to Canada basically and that's it. That's the outcome of today's approval notice for my visa. Hello Canada! Where should I go? Deadly boring to go on my own but Canada it is and then my visa is fixed. I just have to leave the country and go back in again.

I forgive my boss btw. She's pretty great. She's still deadly confused but she was super happy when she heard that my visa is fixed and that I just have to go to Canada. How on earth am I going to get to Canada btw? That's the next story to figure out....

I also seem to be entertaining my co-workers. My feet hurt due to that I walked to much with flip-flops this weekend. I was stretching/doing weird moves and my boss and the technical designer were looking at me holding back laughs:
"Linda, what on earth are you doing?"
"My feet hurt, I feel stiff. I walked to much in flip-flops this weekend."
"Well, that's an interesting way of fixing it... haha...."

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My new subway buddy...

I was on the way back from taking the last walk with Mushie and I'm waiting for the 7 train when someone starts talking to me. So weird. I look like shit, I feel like shit and I'm tired. I'm still so shaky and just trying to take step by step, day by day. Some days it's working, other days it's not.
Anyway, ended up talking the whole subway ride and in the end someone says:
"Can I call you?"
"You can find me on facebook. It's me and a dog on the photo."
"I see, I like that, find you. I'll find you, Linda."
"Have a great night."
"Sure, I'll see you at the beergarden then."

Did someone write the story to my life? For real? Holding up new scenes and I'm just the lead character in this story without knowing it? Let's see if my new buddy will find me, haha. NYC, anything can happen when you least expect it.


I don't want to do laundry and I don't want to jump on the train to walk Mushie a last time. So I'm sitting here procrastinating. This time stuck on a band I used to listen to when I was 15 or something. Then I hated them in my early 20's, haha. Even got into a fight about this band being played in my first apartment when I moved to NYC many years ago, haha. Oh well. This works to listen to when I'm figuring out what goes in the laundry.


It's summer in the air! Spent the day in Prospect Park with Mushie. She seemed to really enjoy it. Taught her "roll around". In the end she was rolling around back & forth at the ground believing she would get an extra treat then, haha.

I love Prospect Park though! I want to move to an area around there. It's so nice in the park it's unbelievable. It's not as crowded as Central Park and people are way nicer. It really feels like a homey area. People say hello, talk to the dog, trees everywhere and you don't even know that you are in the city!

We're even close to the street and still there are no people and all that can be heard are birds!

Under a tree...

Mushie and her screamy pink leash. This was before she learnt "roll around"!

Saturday, July 4, 2009


Met up with Tina, Taylor, Ana, Elin and Johan to check out the 4th of July fireworks. We all SPEED walked from Astor Place to the west side. Finally reached the destination and got to see the final of the fireworks. A stupid building was right in the way but at least we saw it!

I'm still surprising myself though. My mood right now is up & down in my head, but still I'm so good damn HI HELLO all the time and always nice, talkative and a smile on my face. I was catching up with Taylor, got to know what Ana was doing in the city and just enjoying the company. I still got it. Where on earth have I been for the past year? Life is amazing! Get the party started, haha!

I seriously start to believe that me taking my job was one of the best things ever. I'm rebuilding myself to what I once used to be many, many years ago when I was actually super happy. Me at this new job is just so different from before, I feel it everywhere! Life is awesome. This job might not be my dream job but the feeling of just being appreciated and liked for just who I am, that's just a great start for rebuilding. I feel that this is taking over me & creating me and does that I just embrace myself 24/7 in being me, happy me. I might still be super stressed, but it's a more fun stress of working.

Anyway, now me & Mushie are eating mini carrots with dip. Mushie & me. I have reached the conclusion that me & Mushie have reached a great friendship. Now she even sleeps next to the couch all the time. Go Mushie!

This with living in another country...

So I have been analyzing my situation for quite some time now. I live here. My family live over there. It's 4th of July and it's hello family time in this country. Wherever I go people have their bbqs in action, especially in the park. I'm not American so for me it doesn't really matter, it's not my tradition. I'm pretty sure though that if I ever decide to move to another part of this world my time in NYC have trained me to have a thicker skin than most people.

People have traveled away and people are busy so here I am. Still stuck with this dog. It doesn't really matter though but for some reason I can't stop thinking about Ylva and how strong she must be. She moved away from home when she was 15 years old. She's an old high school friend in Sweden. I never could relate to her life when I was a teenager as I had my family around, but now I do for some reason I see the patterns & connections. I can't stop thinking of something Kasper said many, many years ago about this or in connection to this.

It just makes me thinking. Sometimes we do get stuck in something and fear of changing things. But what happens when we change and we realize that the change is great but at the same time terrifying? Is there a way to keep it all? Is there a way of keeping history in the present, but at the same time creating a new history and embracing the future? Probably sounds crazy but I just wish things could stay the same but at the same time change drastically as they are doing right now. Big changes are for 2010 and not now though. I can't change some things and that's just how it is.

My blog is also getting dangerous. I get flashbacks to '01 when my blog at another place was able to create a huge change for summer '01. Which makes me think of Emmily and her fabulous writing skills that she used to help me with something back then, haha. Oh those times. I'm so happy I'm not as crazy & intense as I was back then. I still do to impulsive things but not on the same level as back then, haha. I guess we all learn as we grow and get older.

Oh well, enough of me half-sleeping in the hammock. I'm having a true relaxing day with ice cream, varies activities in my hammock at the balcony and coming with that is a lot of analyzing & thinking about life. Read the weirdest book ever about a divorced man with 2 kids that imported a 30 year younger wife from the Philippines. Who writes crap like that? Even I can write & publish something better than that, seriously. I'm not going to get a book again after that I just like the title, complete waste of time, haha. Sometimes I'm just a too stupid customer.

Stuck on my mind for the moment.

Randomly ran into this and it's just stuck. It's something with the beginning sound that just doesn't go away. I have to wash my head during the weekends as I get to listen to "Lady in red" again and again and again and again at work.............

Long live Skype!

Skype is awesome! Long live Skype! Spent the last 1/2h with Emmily on the phone. It's amazing. We don't talk for several months, 1/2h on the phone and it's like time never pasted. I told her when I heard her story that I just wanted to walk into the computer and just come out of her screen and give her a BIG HUG! Stupid people, they exist everywhere. It's just a matter to stay away from them. Move on.

It's amazing those friendships that were created many, many years ago even before I moved abroad 8 years ago. They are so strong that it still fascinates me! So different lives but still the friendship is there. I so wish this never would go away and that we would maintain this forever.

I guess I wonder how it has been possible to maintain those friendship for so many years. Probably because we all are honest, straight up and know each other pretty well. Don't agree what someone says and you say it and no one doesn't really get offended. It's more, you said that, ok, your point of view. Might not be mine, but good to hear yours. I just love it. Also amazing how these people support me too. Never any jealousy or anything. That's real friendship. It just makes me smile.

God Morning Earth!

Me & Mush are buddies now! Yesterday she really had to sit next to me all the time. The previous days she has just been sitting on the other side of the room, looking at me suspiciously, probably wondering who I am and what I'm doing there. Now we're buddies.

Took a long walk in Prospect Park with the doggie. I love this park! I almost want to move down there now. It's so nice to just cross the street & the park is on the other side. Walk in for 5 minutes and it's like being on another planet. It's amazing! Even found a mini waterfall! Much nicer area than boring Queens where I live. Got to stick to Queens though, dirt cheap to live here. Oh, got a new roommate btw. Just temporally but still no more of the French girl, thank god. Apparently the French girl is going on vacation for 2 weeks and one of her friends are taking over her room. Haven't met this friend of hers yet but I guess it should be good. Anyone else than the French girl should be good... The other day the French girl threw out my newly bought fruit in her cleaning madness for her friend. I had just put the bag with the fruit on the bench in the kitchen, got back 1/2h later an my bag was gone. Looked through the whole apartment and finally found the bag in the trash. Wtf?! Luckily enough I was able to save the fruit as it still was in the bag, but still I was pissed. This girl, always something!

Tomorrow I'm bringing a blanket and me & Mush can just pick out a spot, bring some stuff to eat, sun glasses on, read a book & just relax. This poor doggie needs to go outside. She looked completely devastated when I left her this morning. Therefor it's healthy for Mushie, as I have her renamed her to, to go out a longer time and enjoy something else than the apartment.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Me & Mush.

The doggie! Here are some photos of me & Mush. We're getting buddies now me and her. She's very half-sleeping but easy to deal with.

Mush. Pretty good looking lady for 9 years. Would be a perfect date for Rufus.

Mush is investigating me & I'm not really sure if I like it, haha.

I admit, I have fallen in the trap.

So now I got Michael's songs on my ipod too. It's Michael fever everywhere so I went with the flow, haha. Turn on the tv, take a stroll on Manhattan and the covers on magazines are Michael. Michael fever. Michael fever on my ipod it is too, haha. Now apparently the rumor is that Debbie Rowe will try to get custody of the 2 oldest kids too so this will be interesting. Poor kids, all this drama. Money is a dirty thing.

Even my dad seems to have Michael fever. Just spent 1 hour on the phone with my parents. My dad was all into Michael Jackson and his death. Ok.


Long live USCIS checking of visas online! MY CASE GOT APPROVED! APPROVED! The most unbelievable on this planet has happened. I had to tell the entire world, seriously. I have STRUGGLED to make this work and finally this shit went through. So I guess now I just have to somehow go to Canada or whatever the outcome of this is. I HOPING that they approved the whole thing if that now is possible. HAPPY DANCE!

This also means that I more than ever want to kill my first attorney that just said that my visa case should be canceled and that was it. Basically not possible to fix. Sooooooooo.... WHO-HOO! I just want to JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP! I'm not going anywhere. Now it's just to hope that this job will work out 300% and that I get to stay after my 90 days probation time. Exciting stuff! I guess this is my best thing, to keep fighting when things are supposed to just be given up. I DID IT! The feeling of this is just UNBELIEVABLE!

Time to start my new life. It will be good.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


WOW! That's my first reaction! THAT'S ME but it's not me! Shit, talk about twilight moment. Slightly scary moment. I got a "twin" and my "twin" got picked. Unbelievable. I'm happy though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, not you, but the one that picked you.

Talk about CIRCUS!

Oh my, the story continues. Today I felt a little bit like I was in that tv show "The Office". My boss keeps randomly calling for me. I was just going to ask her about the elastic in on of our bubble dresses. All of a sudden this question about the elastic had developed into a whole fitting with all our bubble dresses. Me, our sample maker and the technical designer was just standing there with faces saying it all: "Here we go again...." Pretty funny.

In the afternoon my boss all of a sudden had an interest in our tech packs that she has forgotten about for the past week. Bomber & Granater! All of a sudden everything that we decided a week ago was just not right. What? Here we go again........ In the end I was just standing there, looking around, looking at the technical designer, looking at the ceiling and just smiling. Okidoki. I only work there and that is all I do, nothing else. It's kind off entertaining though. Everything is a complete CIRCUS, like an episode from "The Office." Today I was also on a hunt to find my stapler and thought of that movie "Office Space" too, haha. Finally located the stapler and I could start stapling around. Stapling is very important for my boss. Me & the technical designer staple around everywhere, haha. Even told the technical designer: "Whatever you do, don't forget to staple ok!" After that anything involving stapling just put a smile on our faces. Never knew that I would connect with a Chinese woman in her 40's when I only understand 75% of what she says, hilarious.

My boss has also started to call me "Lin". I guess that's good that I'm now on the level of having a nick name, haha. I think I have charmed my boss. Yesterday I was talking to her about the road trip that my sister & her sambo organized for their kids and me many years ago, like 15 years ago. So when you read this sister, my boss now knows about you, our road trip to Italy for a month when we slept in the car, all your kids' name are and what you do. My boss seems very fascinated that I, little me, have made it to the other side of the planet, haha.

Ok, have to go and walk Mush. This dog. It's a bit like a stuffed animal. Slightly overweight and a bit confused. Would make an excellent doggie gf for Rufus. The would make a prefect couple together. Not really sure that M. has any interest of this info but yeah, I have found Rufus match. Not that Rufus is ever going to know that, but I thought it was funny.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


So here I am. Sitting. Thinking again. Just ate a gigantic plate with nachos & cheese. Got to keys for the apartment to walk the doggie.

Feeling a little bit sad but it's ok. Tired from work and it just doesn't help my mood. I'm pretty surprised by myself though! I'm so GOOD DAMN cheerful at work that I'm getting afraid of myself. Always positive, always a laugh in my back pocket and just trying to solve everything.

God, sometimes I just wish changes were easy. It's not or they are it's just a matter of step by step and being patient. I'm trying to see the point but at the same time I'm tired and then I just loose it. Ok, I have to push the happy button again. Everything goes in waves and right now the wave needs to go up. I've been feeling super happy for the past weeks and need that feeling back right now. Not happening. I should just go to bed but I need to go and see the doggie.