Sunday, August 30, 2009

Orka med folk liksom!

I'm weirded out. One of my ex best friends from high school has been trying to talk to me on Facebook for the past week. Claiming that we "should talk". I haven't spoken to her for 2-3 years. We grew away from each other and had a nasty event when she stayed with her boyfriend at my place many years ago. I still can't forgive her for the ONE THING she had to do when she was here: Bring my interview clothes to my job in the middle of the day so I could go to an interview. She never showed up and I had to go to the interview, 1/2 hour later with flip flops, dirty shirt and an ugly bag. Did I get the job? No, I came off as a complete idiot.

This is when Martin would say: "FUCK her! People like that have done there thing, DONE." So true. We will never fix our friendship. Sad, but true. So different values in life and point of views. Martin is still best friend with Adrian. I guess they have a better friendship than me and my ex best friend had. This girl has also managed to cut friendships left and right, my mom always underlines that. So I'm not the only one that is no longer friends with her.

All I want to know is what she wants though? I mean why now, many years later try to reach out after the 13 page trying-to-solve-our-friendship email, I sent to her many years ago that she never, not even once, replied back to? So lame.

My mom doesn't like her. When this happened many years ago my mom said: "But hasn't she done things like this before? It's so her? I remember you have been really sad about her before."
Emmily, Josssan and Rocio can't stand this girl either. They always said: "We really can't see WHY you want to be friends with HER?" Now afterward I really don't know why. Or maybe, we had really fun when we randomly joined a break dance class. The intention was to met cute guys, HAHA. The guys in the break dance class turned out to be 12 years old and we were 18 years old. Also, it was nice to have a really close friend to do things with, that wasn't afraid to do the stupid things. No boundaries and unwritten rules how life should be lived.

I hate stuff like this. This is when Martin would say that I collect people with lost and confusion that suck out my energy until I'm messed up. I'm trying to solve friendships until the very last end. Even though the signs were there to not get solved.

I feel like a loser right now. Such a disaster. Sad. Alone. Or maybe not. Just, wtf? What have I done to get haunted by this old friend. Tearing up so much inside of me that I kept all stored in the back.

Of course she wants to know where I work, where I live - as with everything: Jealousy. I seriously can't deal with people that never knew what they wanted to do and never did anything and then take out their frustrations on me. What's wrong with people?! "Your life is your creation" someone told me long time ago, so true.

Such a lame talk on Facebook too! Apparently she's afraid of getting old and not feeling mature enough. Oh who cares! Life is great! I just think it gets better the more you know, the knowledge. I was a mess when I was 20. Didn't know ANYTHING, only that I wanted to be a designer. Everything else was just bad and I switched from happy to crying without stop in a second. Shit, this is what happens to people that never did anything that they wanted to do. Should I also add that she still had THE same job that she had when she was 18??? 10 years later??? The old summer job with crappy salary. Give me a break. I get a throw up attack when I hear stuff like this. MOVE ON for god's sake! Take a class at the university, expand, branch out, learn something new.... Start a new hobby - anything! That two people's life can take so different directions, it's crazy.

This is the girl that said when I said that I want to be the boss in the future, look further: "Well all people can't be bosses.... That's just how it is.... How would the world look then?"
Well then you become the person that is the boss! Forget about the rest! Don't look down on your own skills and your possibilities. I should be a coach.

Ok, where's the fun ppl? Anyone call me? I need to so something fun! NOW!

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