Saturday, August 1, 2009

Itchy legs!

God, today I feel so inpatient it's unbelievable. I really wanted to go to the beach but that didn't happen sadly enough. I really want to go tomorrow but no one has any time. So sad. Am I ever going to get to the beach again?

I feel weird today. Just strange. I'm here but at the same time I'm not really here. I want to do something but people are busy or away. Really sucks. I have to wait until Monday until something exciting will happen.

Spent my day in Central Park at a blanket reading a book and eating x amount of cheese crackers. Now I feel sick. Was really nice though. Just listening to birds and just enjoying the weather. It's supposed to rain tomorrow so I guess I have to take advantage of every single sunny day out there.

I saw Rufus the dog yesterday! Exciting! Rufus - the good looking doggie male. I still think it's a lie that Rufus is 12 years old.

In hanging out with Rufus it also meant I also hanged out with M. I guess that was slightly awkward and weird at certain times. Also I get a little bit too much pushing the buttons at times. It just happens. It takes time to heal certain things. I'm convinced that once the wind has blown, which takes time, and wounds have healed we will be good friends. It just takes time. It was good though. Healthy. I got it out, not really sure if M. did but I feel refreshed. Also I was really surprised that I was able to say my point of view without hearing an annoying voice saying that that he doesn't want to talk about this and that I'm just wrong. Making progress in this with communication.

Some things are just not meant to be how much you even wanted them to be or work. Then once time has passed and we learn from mistake we realize that it's just too late and we can only learn from our mistakes. It sucks, yes it does, but some things are just not fixable how much you even want to fix them. Also if they were fixable, they are not healthy. This is for the best and I know it.

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