Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Lost my mind?

As the title of this post, I start to believe that I lost my mind. Seriously. I can't make up my mind! The job is mine if I want it but I I'm over analyzing the whole situation and my whole mind is playing tricks on me. WHAT DO I WANT TO DO? I don't know! I have always known over the years EXACTLY what I want to do and now I'm lost. Completely lost.

Every single person I talk with has a different point of view. I keep changing my decision every time I talk to someone. Some people think that I should just go for it and someone else thinks that investing all the $$$$ it cost to move the visa is crazy so I should just skip it and move..

For me, I feel this:
I have lived in NYC for almost 6 years. Lots of ups and downs over the years. I finished my education many years ago and that's really what I came here for. In addition to that I have almost 4 years working experience in one of the world's toughest cities. Do I really need to stay to take a job that is at a similar level to what I had before? Maybe it's time to move on and learn something new.
I applied for school in Sweden to study business. In addition to that if I move there, I want to start my own business. Maybe this is the time for it? For me? I'm tired of working for other people and for me life is no longer about just getting experience, it's about being inspired. Maybe a tour to the other side of the planet will make me inspired.

It was so much easier for me to make decisions and just go for it when I was younger. No concern, no though, just GO! Now when I think about it I was crazy. Maybe I should be crazy this time too and just take this job and see what happens? Meanwhile I get afraid that things will not work out. But who knows? It might be an awesome job? Somehow I feel that I'm not ready yet to jump on a new full-time position. I like to hang out with kids and I also found a patternmaking job that keeps me entertained. Whatever happened to the word career? I completely forgot about that. Still in the back of my head but for the moment life is just good as it is. I have to make a decision though. Things have never been this hard. Whatever happened to Linda-just-go-for-it? That's how I ended up in NYC from the beginning.... Guess I would never end up in NYC if 6 years ago was now.

1 comment:

  1. Ja, jag ska göra det nu. Nu är muppen glömd. behövde bara få ur mig lite först, jag funkar så. :)

    Hur är det med dig? Vilka är det du nu ska jobba för?